


Dorothea, matchmaker extraordinaire

by Lasoona



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Linhardt is also... there, Petra mentioned in passing, Post-Time Skip, Sleeping the whole time of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 18:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20196418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasoona/pseuds/Lasoona
Summary: Dorothea has decided it's time for Byleth to stop denying her feelings for her best friend Edelgard and admit to being the most useless lesbian in the Black Eagle Strike Force.





	Dorothea, matchmaker extraordinaire

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt was "You love them! I knew it!"

Finally, a break from the fighting. It had only been a few months since Byleth's return and there was never enough time to relax, just fight after fight after fight. But now? A glorious, sunny day and Byleth was back at her favorite tea table in Garreg Mach. If you ignored the bit of rubble from the damaged wall opposite the walkway past it, it looked pretty much the same. Some of her friends seemed to have had the same idea. The former Professor shot a nod and a small upturn of the lips to each of them. Them being Ingrid, Bernadetta (probably dragged out by Ingrid. The poor girl looked ready to bolt), Caspar, Ashe, and Linhardt who was, of course, asleep draped over his own table.

It took only a few moments for another friendly face to arrive, pulling out the seat opposite Byleth, "Hey there, Professor, mind if I join you?"

"I don't see why not, Dorothea, I'm just enjoying the sun."

"Perfect! It's been forever since we've had tea together."

Byleth held out a second cup for her friend, already filled with the relaxing beverage, "How have you been, Dorothea? We haven't had many chances to talk outside of business."

"Oh don't worry about it, Byleth, I've… gotten used to that sort of thing over the years… sort of."

"It doesn't get much easier, does it? I'm sorry."

"Ooohh, don't be, Professor. I'm just glad you're back! We all are."

The professor let out a fond grin, "Yes, I do believe I've never been hugged so much as I was those first days back. I… actually didn't realize I meant quite that much to everyone."

"Professor, you would still be getting crushed in our arms if Hubert hadn't order us to give you space to breathe."

"I… wait Hubert did something nice?" She laughed, "I knew he liked me!"

All at once, Dorothea's smile turned, quite frankly, predatory, "Speaking of liking people, Professor, I've been meaning to ask you a few questions…"

Byleth paled, scooting her chair back, "Oh no."

This was worrisome, she’d been able to avoid Dorothea’s romance interrogations for so long, and now here she was, trapped in their old tea spot with plenty of other old students of hers around at the other tables to listen in on Dorothea embarrassing her.

Dorothea snapped her fingers and Byleth felt her chair scoot back in. Damn wind magic, "I was just thinking it was time we talked about you more. I was going to ask a lot sooner but then you disappeared for 5 years. You know if you want to avoid questioning, there are better ways to go about it."

"Are you sure? I think I did a pretty good job at avoiding your love life interrogations up until now."

"You know, it'd be a lot easier to tell if you're joking or not if you would at least smile a little," Dorothea sighed.

Byleth was careful to keep her same monotone voice, "Now where's the fun in that?"

"Ugh, you know, if you won't answer me, I _ will _ start guessing. Starting with people right here."

"Be my guest."

"Oh-hohoh! I have permission, you hear that guys?"

The surrounding students gave out simultaneous "Yup!"s

"Oh goddess, what have I gotten myself into? Even you, Bernie??"

The shy noble gave her a nod that was somehow extremely mischievous. Nope, Byleth didn't like that at all. Dorothea had accomplices, not a single student was about to defend their ol' teach. _ Had she planned this all along _?

Dorothea began with a clap, "So! Lets begin! What about Petra?"

"Cute, but no."

"Ingrid?"

"Nope! Sorry Ingrid," she shot over her shoulder at the Falcon Knight before turning back to the songstress, "Would it help if I stared more intensely at you as you get closer or nah?"

"Your sarcasm does you no credit when it sounds like everything else you say."

"You're the one that wanted to try and guess the romantic feelings of someone infamous for not showing emotion."

"Point taken," Dorothea shrugged, "But then again, even you have your tells Professor."

"Oh? And what would those be?" She took a slow sip of her tea. The grin Dorothea got at the question was… not good, to say the least.

WIt's all in the fine detail, my dear Professor. you may not express yourself facially as clearly as others, but for example, there's also how you widen your eyes a bit when you're surprised, unless something really scared ya. Then you jolt like a normal person."

Byleth crossed her arms indignantly, "I'm a normal person!"

Dorothea couldn't help but giggle at the pouting professor, "Mhm, sure sweetie. Anyways, I also learned that the more comfortable you are with a person the more lively you get, possibly even expressing more than very slight expressions. It seems miracles do happen."

"Oof, you're really going low today, aren't you?"

"This wouldn't have happened if you just told me who's caught your eye, my dear friend!" She sang out.

Byleth cocked an eyebrow, "What makes you so sure that there even is someone in my heart?"

"Oh don't be silly, Professor, the way you randomly start blushing when left to your thoughts? It has to be. Especially since you get so lost in thought sometimes you have to literally be shaken out of it."

Byleth frowned. Shit, Dorothea's got her there.

Dorothea suddenly gasped, pulling a hand in front of her mouth, "It's not me is it? I wouldn't complain you know,” she said with a wink.

Byleth let out a small smile, “As much as I love you, Dorothea, it’s not like that.”

Dorothea frowned, “Hmmm… I know! I just have to find who you’re the most comfortable around. Which… actually now that I think about it it’s rather obvious.”

Byleth internally grimaced, please let this not be going where she thought this was going. She couldn’t hold off Dorothea forever, especially since she was apparently an expert at reading her now… and especially with her other friends most likely here to prevent her escape.

“It’s Edelgard isn’t it? You’re always smiling around her. And not just your usual closed lip grins, our little Emperor gets so many of those rare toothy grins I must say, I'm a little jealous. Even Caspar has noticed you’re much quicker with a joke and just more talkative in general around our sweet Edie. And he’s as dense as a bag of bricks.”

Byleth tried, unsuccessfully, to hide another smile at the man’s indignant “Hey!” from the table he was sharing with Ashe.

Byleth used her tea to hide her mouth as she frowned, _ shit shit shit _, “You do realize there’s a chance that there isn’t actually anyone and I’m just good friends with her, right?”

The songstress immediately scoffed, “Oh please, you say that like you haven’t been pining for her since our days here at the academy.”

“I have not.”

“Oh really?” Byleth really didn’t like the sly smile Dorothea was getting, “Do you remember that celebration where you accidentally downed some of Claude’s Almyran liquor he got smuggled across the border?”

“....Possibly.”

“You’re a real lightweight, Professor, and I had to practically carry you to your room. And the _ whole time _ I had to listen to you go on about how wonderful Lady Edelgard is, how graceful and beautiful she is, how you just wanted her to sweep you up in her strong arms-”

Byleth practically leaped across the table, “Okay! I get your point, can you maybe not kill me with any more embarrassment in front of the others?” She slowly sat back down, her face nearly the color of Edelgard’s cape.

Dorothea looked way too pleased with herself, “Oh Professor, you don’t remember? Pretty much everyone has heard you, Ashe had to spend about 10 minutes convincing Seteth that it was an accident and you hadn’t been purposely getting drunk on Monastery grounds.”

Ashe nodded solemnly, "It wasn't fun, but listening to you more than made up for it, Professor. Also the look on Claude's face when Seteth confiscated it all," he chuckled.

Byleth slowly raised her cup for a sip, pointedly ignoring the amused stares of her friends seated at the other tables only for her current worst fear to be realized with a familiar amused voice sounding out behind her, “What’s this I hear about how wonderful I am? How many times must I tell you, my friends, there is no need to praise me so."

Dorothea had to physically hold back her laughter, covering her mouth as Byleth was caught mid-sip and immediately began choking, "Ghk, E-Edel-Edelgard!" Byleth sputtered, trying to talk around the spasming of her throat before Dorothea could say anything. "H-hey! No, we um, we were just um, reminiscing! You know, the ol' academy days! Nothing to worry about, I'm sure you have much more important things to do, I'll catch up with you later!" 

The Emperor, for her part, looked absolutely flabbergasted, "Ummm…. Okay? I'm sure I'll hear all about it later," she shot Byleth a small, earnest smile as she continued on the path.

Byleth sighed, _ goddess why did she have to be so goddamn cute when she smiled like that??? _Before whirling on her friend, "Are you trying to kill me?!?"

"You're in love with her! I knew it!" The songstress finally reached her limit, her deep belly laughs sounding out like the eulogy for Byleth's dignity with the others soon following suit as Byleth felt her face heat up all the way to her ears.

Ingrid calmed down first, "It would seem you were correct, Dorothea, she certainly has it something awful for our Edelgard. I've never seen you so flustered Professor, It was... adorable, honestly."

Caspar was next, "Yeah no kidding, I'm surprised she didn't start drooling once Edelgard showed up. Never seen you look like that before, Professor!"

"Oh come on, Caspar, not you too!" She whined.

Still giggling, Dorothea decided to finish Byleth once and for all, "Honestly, Professor, if they had 'Useless Lesbian' in the dictionary, it'd have your picture plastered over the whole page."

Byleth threw up her hands, groaning in defeat, "You all are no longer my favorite students, I'd rather hang out with Sylvain now."

"Now that's just uncalled for, Professor," Ashe chuckled.

"You knew all along, didn't you, Dorothea? That guessing was just for show!" Byleth pouted

Dorothea adopted a sing song tone, "Yep, you fell right into my trap!"

Byleth quickly grabbed up her tea set, "That's it, I'm outta here, see you traitors later!"

The group watched their old teacher speed walk away, quite pleased with themselves. Dorothea felt a new idea forming, tapping a finger to her chin as she organized her thoughts, "Well now that she's had to face her true feelings she hopefully won't keep pining for too much longer, though I will admit the puppy eyes she gives Edie constantly are adorable," that sly smile appeared on her face once more, catching the eyes of her friends, "Though you know what should help speed it up? I think it's time I had a little tea with our dear Edelgard, what do you think?"

The group didn't need to respond, their heinous smiles all the answer she needed.

* * *

Linhardt jerked awake with a snort, "Geez, it's about time they left," he yawned, "So... noisy..." and back into blissful sleep he drifted.

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely not writing one shots to procrastinate writing chapter 2 of my longer fic, no sirree bob. Just some friendly embarrassment via friends tired of watching Byleth pine like the dumb gay she is.


End file.
